Relationships

Gary Chapman Helped Me Plan My Engagement Party

June 3, 2017


I wan’t to be up front about one thing, I LOVE PLANNING ENGAGEMENT PARTIES! I don’t care if I was attending Game 7 of the World Series and the Chicago Cubs were getting ready to end a 108 year drought, the only thing on my mind would be planning not only my engagement party, but maybe opening an event planning business of my own. Even if we lived in a universe where Kevin Durant left the Oklahoma City Thunder in the off season and helped the Golden State Warriors win their second title in three years, I would have absolutely no desire to attend the event in person, because I could be planning an engagement party. You have just entered the twilight zone.

The Sum Is Greater Than Its Parts

Now let’s travel back to a little place I like to call reality, while I am madly in love with my fiancee, I don’t think any male truly enjoys event planning for an engagement party and I’m no different. However, in marriage, the core concept should be that the sum is greater than the parts. It’s critical to realize that the engagement party is not going to be the last time that one party is more excited about a particular event than the other and if couples can’t get through what is supposed to be the happiest period of their lives, I would really be concerned about that union.

Enter Gary Chapman, author of the marriage saving book, The 5 Love Languages. Chapman has saved my Fiancee and I thousands of dollars in therapy sessions, simply because he changed our perspective and helped us to speak each others love language. Some concepts in this book we are completely comfortable with and others we are still working on.

Physical Touch – The Rub Down

There is no specific order to the 5 Love Languages, but let’s discuss physical touch first. Touch is critical to any relationship, that’s no secret, but if you are on our blog looking for insight on how to touch your spouse or significant other, then you need help that is beyond the scope of this blog. Touch your spouse, make him or her feel loved, my advice here, figure it out.

Acts Of Service – Pre Party Planning

Let me tell you, sewing photos together to make a collage for the engagement party is no fun. Twisting tons of foil decorations for the party isn’t the happiest time of my life either. And trust me, I wasn’t too happy about getting phone calls as I was walking out of the food store telling me that she needed me to go back in and pick up a couple more bottles of wine. On the other hand, I enjoy each and every meal that she cooks for me and trust me she cooks a lot. I just have to think it up and she will cook it for me, even if she has never done it before, on a few occasions I don’t know if that was such a good idea. I’m very capable of cooking for myself, but there is something special about a wife who cooks for her husband, to me, it shows a caring and nurturing spirit. Because she fills my love tank with acts of service everyday, it’s easy to return the favor for the engagement party when I have to do things I don’t necessarily want to do.

Quality Time – The Engagement Party


While planning for the party was tedious, it came out exceptionally well, Zaidy is a great event planner, it truly is one of her many hidden talents(singing is not). The pastry table was a great touch, the personal chef cooked a boatload of paella and there were tons of fruits there, because she knows I love fruits. The most special part of the night was the fact that we got to share it with friends and family. At this point, you’re probably thinking that unless party going is a Love Language, this doesn’t apply to your relationship, but it does. Quality Time is the primary Love Language of my fiancee, so it was imperative that I was at the event mentally and physically. I will admit, I didn’t work the room as much as I should have, but I was a picture taking machine whenever she needed me and that filled her love tank. By me simply taking pictures, that filled her love tank just as much as she filled mine by planning the entire event.

Receiving Gifts – It’s So Cliche

The very first gift that I bought my fiancee was a bracelet from Pandora. We have been together almost 2 years now and she may have worn that bracelet 3 times, maybe. From that point on, I vowed never to buy her jewelry ever again, engagement ring withstanding of course. So when her birthday rolled around, I wanted to buy her something that she would appreciate and that she would use. As crazy as it sounds, a set of knives would have been perfect for her, because she loves to cook and she actually told me months earlier that she wanted a set of knives. Side note guys, this listening thing really works, you should try it sometime. Mom wanted to buy the knives, so that left me with some thinking to do. As I was on my way to the jewelry store, because I was going to be lazy and buy Jewelry anyway, I saw Brookstone out of the corner of my eye. I ended up getting Zaidy a Shiatsu Massaging Seat for her birthday. After working out Zaidy is usually sore from going beast mode in the gym, plus, at the time, her should was giving her issues. It’s so cliche, but when it comes to giving gifts to your spouse, it really is the thought that counts. In that moment, I don’t think there was a better gift that I could have given her

Words Of Affirmation – All Day Every Day

To me, words of affirmation is the Love Language that I think is the result of every other Love Language listed here. If you perform acts of service, spend quality time, engage in physical touch and give gifts, then words of affirmation should flow naturally. By filling the love tank with the other four love languages, then the love machine should overflow with words of affirmation. If words of affirmation are actually disparaging comments, then revisit the first four and if that does’t work, call Gary.

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